First Tears Over Moving

No, not from the kids. From me.

This morning we had someone come by to buy our water table (the kind kids splash around with outside). A no-brainer to sell, right? Big and bulky to move, and we can't use up precious storage space for a toy you can only use a few months out of the year. And easy to replace if we change our minds. But as the girl was on her way over, I started having second thoughts. My kids LOVE that water table. Maybe I should have waited until June, when we actually leave. Parker just got it for his birthday a year ago.... No, she was already on her way. I can't have her show up and be like, "Uh, I changed my mind."

As the girl was looking at it, I got a phone call and stepped inside. When I came back out, Parker and Kenley were standing at the edge of the sidewalk as James was across the street helping the girl load it into her car. Parker had this sad, forlorn face and watery eyes, so I scooped him up and headed back in the house. He burst into tears and just kept saying, "I want my water table! No! My water table!" I felt so BAD! What kind of a jerk mom sells off their kids' birthday presents? As soon as James came back in, I burst into tears, which, understandably, made him laugh at me.

Moving is the right thing for us. James being able to get his degree will give us so many more possibilities, and I honestly believe it will mean a better life for the kids. In the long run, it is really for them. But it makes me feel like a jerk when I see their little hearts break. I have promised that I won't purge their toys and books, but we really can't take all our outdoor play toys. Some of it had to go, I know that, in theory. But if I felt this bad over a water table, I can't even imagine trying to drag them away from their grandmas and grandpas to get on the airplane. I wish that doing the right thing for us didn't mean making everyone I love so sad.